Death by small print

I have been on a trend lately of blending the worlds of holistic and traditional medicines. And it both cases...each host similar obstacles.

In my early aging years I have been developing a long list of pet peeves as they relate to ME and growing older. And on my list, two of my biggest pet peeves include not being able to read labels and the other is simply not being able to open bottles of many sizes, shapes and product types.

I ask...could the print be any smaller? Could the caps and lids be anymore child proof? Try reading the labels on bottles as the manufacturers squeeze all that critical information that would typically (in the world of normal font) fit onto an 8.5 x ll page sheet and is magically reduced to a 1/32" X 1/32" label. I really did not know that font came that small.

For me in a recent event, it was not a matter of being able to open the bottle but rather being able to read it. Being my usual multitasking self (Gemini characteristic) and one step ahead of my brain when I stopped into the bathroom on my way to my next task, while thinking about my last task, when I grabbed a bottle of what I thought was one of four remedies recommended by my holistic doctor.

In about a heartbeat of taking the 'take 3 times daily' bottle I realized that the taste in my mouth was very familiar and yet it felt very wrong. Thank goodness for following verbal directions, which were to let the liquid sit under the tongue for one minute prior to swallowing.

Given my red flag, I backed tracked and picked up the bottle and brought it under a light and squinted to read the label which said Tea Tree Oil. Definitely a topical remedy and not to be digested and not what my doctor prescribed. I made a mistake because the current collection of bottles on my counter all looked the same.

Needless to say I spat it out, washed my mouth out a couple of times, brushed my teeth three times and gurgled warm water...Don't know what the fear was, I have had worse things in my mouth...(Did I say that out loud?)and Tea Tree Oil is good for you...externally.

Ultimately I have come to the conclusion that small print will be a contributing factor to my death. And if it is not death by small print it will be death by not being able to open bottles and feeding myself.



Similar incidents and still non life threatening...for now.
- putting cream rinse on my face instead of moisturizing cream
- spraying deodorant in my hair instead of hair spray and vice versa
- brushing my teeth with tubes of creams/lubricants with similar shapes or sizes
- wiping myself with an alcohol pad instead of a feminine hygiene pad

This list of bathroom mishaps could be both endless and embarrassing. I remain.